You are what you say you are – not what they say you are

My updating isn’t as regular as I would like it to be but that’s because I’ve been working on my first real article.

A couple of months ago I was approached to write an article on disability and sexuality for a new magazine. Wow! I was so flattered especially because I really respect the person who asked me. Also, to be published in a magazine is something that I thought would never happen. Hey, I’m not even a journalist.

Anyway, before saying yes I asked a few people if they thought it was a good idea. They thought it was a good idea, but was I really up for the challenge?

Writing for my blog is easy. I get to choose the topic, the style and the word limit. I tend to focus on one topic at a time and I keep it pretty tight and focused.

 I tend to under value my skills and so when I first started working I did a lot of research. Finding information online, approaching complete strangers and asking them extremely personal questions. I did all this before coming up with a plan or concept which is probably the right way to get started, but I think you need a vague idea as to what you want to write as that will direct your reading.

On this journey I found out a couple of things about myself and about other disabled people. I probably shouldn’t share them with you now as I would prefer you read the article instead.

I will mention that while feeling sexy is meant to come from within, so many people feel that way when it comes from somebody else. It seems that it is easier to believe something when you get confirmation from someone else.

But I don’t think this just relates to people with a disability. Most of us rely on the opinion of others to feel good about ourselves – myself included.

This saddens me.

I remember once reading that saying positive affirmations while looking in the mirror can help change your way of thinking. “My hair is lush, thick and healthy”; “my freckles are cute and give me character,” etc. Not just saying it once and that’s it, but saying it a few times in a row over a period of time. This will help reinforce the thoughts and hopefully you will believe it over time.

So maybe that’s the way to start but there has to be more. I have to tell you that I’ve been making some changes to my appearance. I now wear my contact lenses most days, have my eyelashes tinted and have my hair blow waved regularly. Looking good does make me feel better about myself. I am also working out regularly along with doing physio twice a week.

Feeling and looking good shouldn’t be based on what other people say. It should be based on the work you put into yourself.

It seems to be working for me.

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