Fading away

I’ve never thought of myself as skinny. I knew that I wasn’t fat but I always felt broad and solid.

But something happened. I needed to use a belt when I wore my fitted jeans.

I think I have been on the run for the last five months or so. Don’t get me wrong, I still take time off to unwind – watch TV/movies, read books at the beach and spend time with friends.

However there have been changes at work and my role has changed considerably. One week I had to go to the country to help co-facilitate a program. The mornings were early and we had to run (well, not run but you get the idea) between two towns to train two different groups. Because we rushed I was never able to eat a proper snack waking up early I was never in the mood to have a good breakfast and my meals were not as big as they used to be.

When I wake up early in the morning my energy is low. My body sometimes doesn’t listen to me and it is hard to move around. I know that I have to eat something But I don’t have it in me to make a big breakfast. I end up having a coffee and maybe an English muffin, crumpet or a piece of toast.

Sometimes I would eat a banana on the way to work but I knew that wasn’t safe. I was neglecting my health and I knew it wasn’t right.

At work I was teased because I was constantly eating. I either had a mini cupcake or donut or brownie on hand. The thing was I never finished them or the delicious treat would last the whole day (except for the mini cupcake of course).

I never really thought about how those foods lacked substance and no nutrition. Really those foods are a waste and should be replaced with muesli bars, fruit or nuts.

It’s not just about food. I’ve also become quite active. Working out at the gym three times a week and going to physio twice a month. And of course just walking takes a lot of effort for me.

There are a lot of things at play at the moment so of course it’s going to impact my appetite. Of course I am going go find it hard to motivate myself to force myself to do something I’ve lost interest in. But I burn a lot of energy and I need food to keep me going. So, all I can say is:

Bring on the carbs, the protein and the junk food!

PS: my uncle and aunty, Willy Zygier and Deborah Conway have released a new album this year. They performed recently on Q and A and here is the clipclip. Check it out!

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