Keeping my blog up to date has been put on hold due to life. And it’s not a complaint because I know how important it is to make the most of life. And I am very lucky with the family, friends, hobbies and job that I have.
However the other week I had one of those days where I just felt flat. I couldn’t put my finger on the reason for this, but nothing seemed to make me smile – not even that extra big second breakfast I had. I thought that maybe a cupcake would work but someone suggested writing a list of things that I am grateful for. As he put it, “it’s cheaper, quicker, easier, healthier, more satisfying and more lasting” than a sugar fix.
So I sat myself down and I let my mind wander. It made me think of primary school and the times that I fell off the monkey bars, ran into a table and oh…the time when I fell backwards off a chair.
I think I was in either grade one or two at the time and my FD was pretty mild. I had issues with walking but was nowhere near getting a waking frame. But I did know I was different to my peers and I didn’t quite fit in with them all. Or maybe that’s just how I felt at the time. Whatever the case may be, I had a couple of close male friends who I had grown up with and I felt comfortable with them.
One day I was sitting at a desk, rocking backwards and forwards on my chair as my teacher droned on about some book we had read that week (ok, so maybe it was grade five instead of grade two). Sitting next to me was one of those boys I felt comfortable with.
Suddenly, the next thing I knew I was lying on my back on the floor and I was in total shock. While I didn’t hurt myself my friend sat with me and rubbed my back until I finally calmed down. I knew that I could count on him then and funnily enough he’s still pretty helpful 20 years later.
There was another friend who loved to sing and play piano. He was a real showman and while I would cringe sometimes I was mighty impressed by him and even a little jealous. I wished that I had the confidence to stand in front of the entire school and belt out a tune. There was one particular song he would play at assembly and even to this day whenever I hear I think of those days and smile.
He used to come over to my house on the weekend. We would dress up in I think my grandparents clothes and pretend to be grown ups. Don’t ask me who we pretended to be exactly but I remember it being an escape from reality. It gave me a chance to forget about the degenerative condition that plagued me and normally made me extremely self-conscious and unable to talk to my peers. I would forget about the nausea I had every morning and my inability to walk far distances and instead laugh and play make believe with my friend.
I am grateful to these two friends who supported me when I was coming to terms with being different to my peers. Maybe they’ll read this…you never know!